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    I want to feel more secure with him so I’ll feel ready for sex – I’m in the process of recovering from a two-year relationship with a man who was not emotionally available, so I’m a little scared. Wanting physical affection but not intercourse does not make you a tease. It’s common for older men to need more touching and other kinds of sexual stimulation.

    —Ambivalent About Sex As I say often, sex is never just about sex, and many components are contributing to your ambivalence: You’re concerned about rushing too fast, exposing yourself to STDs and not knowing how to please him; you’re not sure you would enjoy doing what he needs you to do and worry that the relationship won’t work out. There are plenty of ways to enjoy each other sensually and sexually without intercourse, as you’re discovering. Their erections and orgasms often require more attention from a partner.

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